


Evaluate

by CrashDevil (cjdevlin19)



Series: The Geometry Series [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-18 23:21:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5947192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjdevlin19/pseuds/CrashDevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is curious of the Cas in Christina's memories. When he begins to doubt his mission, he turns to her. Smut followed by plot and then more smut. Dean's a bit of an asshole, but the story flows into 4.21 When the Levee Breaks, so I think it's forgivable.<br/>**********<br/>"What was I like? The Castiel that you remember." He asked, still not looking at her.</p><p>She sighed, leaning her head against her palm. "You were sweet, kind, loyal... beautiful. You were so smart, like amazingly intelligent. You knew everything. And when you were mine, you were perfect and loving."</p><p>He was silent for a moment. "How will I be all that? I don't know how to be kind or loving." His eyes finally came up to meet hers, his blue eyes electrifying her. "No one in Heaven would have taught me to be sweet or how to love. They know nothing of loyalty."</p><p>Christina swallowed, trying to keep her emotions in check. "Maybe... maybe someone else..."</p><p>"Perhaps you taught me... or will teach me." Castiel said, reaching over to take her hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Evaluate

Christina hadn't been on a case in weeks. It might be that she was distracted. Maybe she wasn't looking as hard as she normally did for demon signs and strange occurrences. She was kind of lost since her encounter with Castiel. More little bits and pieces were coming back to her every day, and it was hard to focus. She was sure that she'd end up hurt if she actually did go out on a hunting trip. So, she'd been in Sioux Falls, in her rv in the middle of a plot of land lined with trees, for 2 weeks. She'd been meditating, she'd been sleeping and she'd been drinking. Not much else.

She rolled off the full size bed and stretched, her fingers brushing against the ceiling. A fluttering sound brought her attention to her 'living room' and she grabbed her .32 revolver off the top of her little dresser before she pulled the curtain back and pointed her gun at... Castiel. She turned to toss the gun on her mattress, and stepped out in front of him. He was sitting at her table. She slid into the booth on the opposite side and waited for him to acknowledge her.

"What was I like? The Castiel that you remember." He asked, still not looking at her.

She sighed, leaning her head against her palm. "You were sweet, kind, loyal... beautiful. You were so smart, like amazingly intelligent. You knew everything. And when you were mine, you were perfect and loving."

He was silent for a moment. "How will I be all that? I don't know how to be kind or loving." His eyes finally came up to meet hers, his blue eyes electrifying her. "No one in Heaven would have taught me to be sweet or how to love. They know nothing of loyalty."

Christina swallowed, trying to keep her emotions in check. "Maybe... maybe someone else..."

"Perhaps you taught me... or will teach me." Castiel said, reaching over to take her hand.

Her heart was pounding. "I don't... understand time travel, Cas, but..." She took a deep breath. "I can teach you what it's like to have someone love you. Because you might not be my Cas yet, but... I never stopped loving you."

Castiel stood, pulling her hand to prompt her to stand with him. She swallowed again, before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his middle, letting her head lay on his chest. He was stiff, so she squeezed him tighter. "Relax, Cas. It's a hug. Maybe you could hug me back." His arms wrapped around her.

They stood that way for a good few minutes, Christina enjoying the feel of him, happy to be this close to him again. When she pulled back, Castiel was reluctant to let her, but she chuckled and placed a hand on his chest, pushing back. "I just wanted to give you a kiss."

He cleared his throat and nodded, slightly. She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Put your hands on my hips." She ordered, softly. He followed direction and his hands found her hips. She leaned up, her full lips ghosting lightly across his thin chapped ones. She didn't employ tongue, and she didn't press herself into him like her body wanted. She just pressed chaste but loving kisses on his lips until she felt it was enough.

She pulled away, grabbing one of his hands and walking toward her bed. "Don't worry, I'm not trying to fuck you. Just wanna lay with you. It's something... loving and sweet." She grabbed the revolver and put it back on the dresser.

She pushed him to the bed and curled up next to him, her head snuggling into his chest. He was stiff again for a moment before he relaxed, one arm coming around to embrace her and the other hand coming up to lightly run his fingers through her messy strawberry blond locks. For a few moments, everything seemed okay. For a while, it was almost like things in the world were good.

Then, Castiel stiffened again and pulled away from her. "I have to go. Uriel has found Anna. I must go deal with this..." He stood, hesitating a moment. "Thank you for that lesson. I will remember it." And then, he was gone.

*********

Life went on for Christina. She heard second hand from Bobby about Anna, an angel who'd willingly left the service to live a human life. Castiel and Uriel had been sent to kill her. _'That's what he left to do.'_

She distracted herself with hunts, taking anything and everything she could find, but when she lied down to sleep, images of Castiel striking down a faceless angel woman haunted her. She knew that it hadn't gone down, that Anna had retrieved her grace and fled, but he had been willing to follow that order, and that scared her. She found herself actively avoiding Dean, because she didn't want to accidentally see Cas.

She walked into a motel room in Salt Lake City and dropped her duffel bag on the floor. "Look, Bobby, I'm just asking for heads up. Let me know if they're in the same state so I can book." She asked into her cell phone.

"Yeah, I'm hearing ya, Tina. What I ain't hearing is why. This is Dean and Sam, not Garth."

"Garth, I could handle. Garth doesn't attract the damn apocalypse. He doesn't have warriors of Heaven watching him. The whole Winchester vibe just makes me uncomfortable and I would rather just-" she cut off as a fluttering sounded behind her. She turned to see Castiel standing by the TV. "Bobby, I'm gonna call you back."

She threw her phone on top of her duffel and turned to face the angel. He looked distraught. She'd never seen him look like this. "Cas, what's wrong?"

"Everything. Uriel is dead. He was working against us, killing other angels. He wanted Lilith to succeed. He wanted Lucifer to rise." His voice was shaking.

Christina stepped forward, placing a hand on his chest. "Cas..."

"I'm experiencing doubt. Not the sort of doubt that Uriel wanted me to, but... I... I need clarity. The only time I've felt that since we found Anael, was when I was lying with you."

"Tell me about Anna."

"She was in charge of my garrison for many years. She abandoned us, chose to disobey and rip away her grace. She lived as human for many years. Uriel and I were given the task of killing her, for her rebellion. But, I... am considering disobedience myself." He whispered the last words, like the words would be less damaging if they weren't spoken aloud. "Everything seems wrong. I'm supposed to obey without question, but... it doesn't feel just."

Castiel turned to his head to stare down at her. "Dean is in the hospital. Uriel set Alastair upon him. He's..."

"Is he okay?" Christina's voice betrayed her emotions, causing Castiel to tilt his head in confusion.

"Are you and Dean-"

"No. Yes. Sometimes. Not now. The way I hear it, he had a thing with your Anael. Dean's not... He's... Is he okay?"

"He will be fine, physically. Mentally... he says that he can't do what Heaven requires of him. He can't end the apocalypse."

"Why does that fall to him?"

He looked down at her. "Because he started it. He broke the first seal."

"What? I thought the Witnesses were-"

"Not the first. They weren't even the second." Castiel sat stiffly on the bed. "The first seal was a righteous man spilling blood in Hell."

"What does... whose blood did he spill?"

"Dean tortured hundreds of souls in Hell. We tried to pull him out before he broke the seal, but... we were too late."

Christina's eyes closed tightly, remembering her time in Hell. "What... why would he-" her voice broke. "Why didn't he tell me?" She whispered.

Castiel reached out and grasped her hand. "Are you all right?"

"No, I'm not. I've been on the receiving end of that kind of torture and... knowing that, Dean didn't... he didn't say anything. He hugged me and joked with me. I... fuckin'... bastard."

"Would you not have done anything possible to get out of that situation?" He asked, pulling her down to sit next to him on the bed.

"I did. I did some... shameful, horrid things to get off that slab, but I never, _never_ hurt anyone else. And I was honest when I made it back. This... is unforgivable."

Castiel wrapped an arm around her. "No. I'm sure he just didn't want you to see him differently." He pulled her close to his chest and ran a hand down her back.

She sniffled into his shirt, then chuckled. "You... you're comforting me. You came here to be calmed and you're comforting me."

"Is it working? I'm not... experienced at this."

Christina sat up straight and wrapped her arms around him. "Yes, babe. It's working. Lay with me?" Castiel nodded and leaned back on the bed. "Babe, take the trench coat off. It'll be more comfortable."

He stood, taking the coat down his arms and placing it over the television set. He followed the motion with his suit jacket. She patted the bed next to her and he lied down. She kissed his cheek and hugged him, laying her leg across his lap. His hand came down to that leg, pulling it up higher on his lap. As it traveled, it rubbed against his hardening length. She leaned back to look at him. He looked slightly embarrassed, blushing on his neck and not meeting her eye. "You smell good. Your proximity is-"

"You don't have to explain, Cas. I know why that happens."

"What do I do about it?"

"I know what a man would do about it. I know what I could do about it, but... I don't know about you, Castiel."

Castiel leaned his head down and captured her lips in a kiss. "I want to know how to..." He whispered.

She nodded in understanding. "I'll go slow. We've... done this before...or will do this. Learning together. I know what to do." She whispered, before rolling on top of him and pressing her lips to his. She ran her tongue over his bottom lip and he dropped his jaw slightly, giving her access. She ran her tongue over his and closed her eyes as his tongue started to move against hers. His hands came up and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her close against him. She allowed him to hold her for several minutes, making out with him like they were still in high school. It felt good, appealing to her nostalgia as well as her physical need.

She pulled back from the kiss, sitting up and bringing her legs to straddle him. He looked up at her, his blue eyes darkened by lust. She ran her hands down his chest, stopping to unbutton each button on his shirt, before pulling the material out of the waistband of his slacks. She leaned down, kissing along his clavicle. Her mind flashed back to their first time, in that shed in the woods. She moved her head up to the place where his pulse was pumping steadily. She pressed her lips there, sucking lightly. He gasped, a small sound that made Christina's heart flutter. She increased her pressure and made a pleased sound as Castiel's hands came up to her hips, fingers digging in.

She pulled back, shifting off of him and off the bed. He sat up, looking confused. "Don't worry, babe." She said, grabbing the bottom of her shirt and pulling it over her head. "I'm just getting more comfortable. If you wanted, you could-" She started, but cut herself off as he snapped his fingers and his clothes disappeared from his body, reappearing in a pile on top of his coat. His hand came down to cover his erection, flinching at the sensation. She smiled, pulling her bra straps down her arms and bringing her hands around behind her back to unclasp the hooks there. As she undressed, his hand rubbed slowly across his cock, up and down.

"How does that feel? Do you like that?" She asked, gesturing at his hand. She pulled her jeans and panties down, stepping out of them and climbing into the bed next to him.

"It's very pleasurable."

Christina grabbed his hand and pulled it away. "This isn't a self-love lesson, Cas. Let me." She said, replacing his hand with her own, wrapping it around his girth and slowly pumping it. She leaned over, pulling his bottom lip into her mouth and gently sucking on it as she continued her motions. He groaned into her mouth as her thumb slipped over the head.

"More." He whispered over her lips.

"More what?"

"This sensation. It isn't enough. I need more."

"I can do that, babe." She whispered, before moving down his body and taking him into her mouth. He hissed due to the sensation and his hand grasped at her hair. She chuckled, the vibrations sending shock waves through his body. She brought him as far into her mouth as she could get and bobbed her head a bit, before pulling back sucking as hard as she could. She ran her tongue around the frenulum before licking down to the base.

Christina couldn't deny that it made her feel powerful again to make an angel make those noises. To have one of his hands twisted in her strawberry locks, the other white-knuckling the comforter, that was power she hadn't felt since she stopped invoking Gods. When he started bucking up into her mouth, she tightened her lips, and the grip she had on the base of him. When he spilled into her mouth, jerking his hips wildly, she held her ground. She swallowed, then licked the last drops off the tip before she pulled away. He looked up at her in shock. She smiled, brightly. "Ooh, I love your 'first orgasm' face. This is the second time I've gotten to see it."

"That was..."

"Not even the end of it. You gonna get hard for me again?" She asked. He looked down at his crotch, then back up to her, confused. She smiled, sweetly, before kissing him. "I'll help. Angels ought to have great refractory periods." She said, bringing her hands up to caress his face.

"Can I touch you, now?"

"You don't even have to ask, babe."

His hand reached out to run down her side, coming around to grab her ass. He kissed from her lips to her neck and nibbled at the scar on her trachea. "Lie down." He ordered, pushing her back onto the mattress. "It's confusing..." He started placing kisses down her chest, stopping every once in a while to nip at her skin.

"You call me 'babe', which should be demeaning. It's infantilizing, but I enjoy it." He said, before taking one of her nipples into his mouth. She grabbed his hand and placed it on her other breast.

"It's not meant to be... mmmmh, oh, my... glad you..." She started, but cut herself off as his hand drifted from her breast down to her center. His hand pressed hard against her. "Cas... at the top of those folds, little nub."

His middle finger pushed between her folds and dragged up to the top, causing her to twitch. He repeated the motion, smiling around her nipple as her body responded. He pulled back, his eyes focusing on her face. "How does that feel? Do you like that?" He mimicked her earlier words.

She chuckled, before pulling him over her, and wrapping her legs around to hook behind his back. "That's good enough, Cas. We're both ready. Let's do this." His face showed apprehension, but she reached between them and lined him up with her entrance and the doubt washed away. "Just push your hips forward, babe."

He did as he was told, quickly bottoming out inside of her. She moaned, pulling his head down into a kiss. Their bodies began to move together, lips locked together like their loins. It wasn't hard, or fast, nothing like her times with Dean. He was slow, deliberate, every motion of his hips calculated, every touch of his hands meant to worship her. "Fast learner." She mumbled against his lips.

"What?"

She pulled her head away from him, pushing back into the pillow as he continued to drill into her. "Cassie's a fast learner'. It's what I said after our first time. You... proving me right... again."

"Fast learner... good thing, right?"

"Yes, Cas. It's a great thing." She said, running her fingernails down his back. He groaned and twitched his hips forward, out of rhythm for the first time since they started. "You almost there, babe?" Castiel nodded, his pace quickening. Christina's eyes drifted closed, her hands clenching at his back.

"No. Open them, please." Castiel was breathless. Christina relished that sound. "I want to know your eyes." He whispered.

Her eyelids shot open, her greens focusing in on his brilliant blues and staying connected as he pushed himself into her one final time and his hips stilled. She raised her hand to smooth out his hair. He kissed her hand and pulled out of her, laying beside her. "You didn't orgasm."

"I didn't need to." She laid her head down on his chest. "This was for you, babe."

"You should sleep. You are exhausted." He said. She sighed and nodded. "Thank you, Christina."

*********************************

Christina woke up in the motel bed, alone. She was dressed again. And a balding, older white man was sitting in the chair next to the tv. Her mind flashed to one of the memories she was sure was planted, of this man giving a sermon in front of the church back home. "Zachariah." She gasped, sitting up.

"You are becoming a problem, Christina Harris. I guess there must be something damn alluring about you that I just can't see because you are the common denominator between Castiel and Dean. Funny that they are both being so willful."

"I'm not the cause of that. Not in either of them."

"No, you're a symptom, but you cause more issues." Zachariah stood. "If it were up to me, I'd just take you out right now. But there are rules, hard-driven decrees against killing humans who aren't immediate threats."

He took a step toward the bed. "But if you continue to make things difficult for me, I will find it within myself to break the rules. Stay away from Dean Winchester and Castiel." She didn't respond, didn't want to incur his wrath. "Good girl. Now, if you'll excuse me, my experiment has failed with Castiel. I have to go finish manually reprogramming him."

As soon as he disappeared, Christina grabbed her cell phone, dialing Dean's number. "What, Siege?"

"Hey, is Castiel with you?"

"Why do you care?"

"I... fuck... it doesn't matter. I think that something bad is about to happen to him."

"A little bit late for that, CJ. There was a fight between angels, he either fled or was pulled from his vessel."

"He's not on Earth, anymore?"

"No, I don't think so... but we had his vessel. Jimmy Novak. Devout guy. Apparently, slippery like an eel."

"Had? You lost him?"

"Hey, that was not me. Take that one up with Sammy. No, we figure he's heading home to Pontiac, Illinois. He's got a wife and kid, just wanted to see them. We're on our way over there, now."

"That's... makes sense. You need backup?"

"No. I think we can go pick up an empty vessel without issue. Why do care about this?"

"Let me know if you need help, Dean." She said, before turning off her phone and jumping off the bed, grabbing her bag from the floor next to the door and rushing out to her Harley.

**************************************

Christina parked her bike outside of her rv and ran inside. She walked to her altar and bowed. "Sorry, Bobby. We need the firepower." She whispered, before grabbing her athame and heading back outside. She stood facing North. She called the corners and cast a circle, before drawing the athame's blade across each of her palms and letting the blood drip to the forest floor. "Athiná , chreiázomai tin prostasía sas se aftón ton toméa . Férte mou ti dýnami kai óla aftá pou parágei. Férte ton pólemo sto aíma mou."

Her skin turned hot, redness radiating from her palms up her arms. Her head buzzed, a familiar feeling that she had almost forgotten felt so nice. She fell to her knees, panting. She looked down at her bleeding hands. "Epanaféro." She whispered, causing her skin to slowly stitch itself back together. "A little slow, but I'll get better." She muttered, before standing. She turned to each of the corners and dismissed them, before breaking the circle and walking back into the rv to stop in her kitchen. She grabbed a tumbler and poured a glass of whiskey. She slid into the booth of her dining table and took a drink.

She was on her third when her cell rang. She pulled it out of her pocket and answered. "Yeah?"

"We got an issue, Tina. Dean texted me. Sam's been using his powers, and apparently they run on demon blood." Bobby said.

"So, what, he's been drinking demon blood?" She tried to make her voice show her concern, but between the magic high and the whiskey, it was a chore.

"Yeah. So, we... we're gonna lock him up in the panic room, let him get it all out of his system. I thought, maybe, he might need..."

"A rehab expert? Someone who's been through... detox? I don't know if it's the... the same thing, Bobby."

"Can't hurt, can it? Magic detox has to be somethin' like demon detox."

She sighed. "Yeah. I guess, you're right. When will they be home?"

"They're gonna be here soon. You up for it?"

"It's Sam. Of course, I'm up for it." She closed her eyes. "Give me an hour to coffee up and dry out a bit. I'll be there."

"I appreciate it."

**********************************

Bobby nodded at her as she walked in but, Christina made her way down to the basement without word. Dean wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. No words were exchanged there, either. Dean let her go and walked up to the door, finally able to talk. She sat on the stairs and waited as Dean opened the little barred window on the door.

"Okay. Let me out. This is not funny." Sam demanded.

"Damn straight."

"Dean, come on. This is crazy."

"No. Not until you dry out."

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you. Just open the door."

"You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault. It's not your fault that you lied to me over and over again. I get it now. You couldn't help it."

"I'm not some junkie." Sam seemed offended by the notion.

"Really? I guess I've just imagined how strung out you've been lately."

"You're actually trying to twist this into some kind of ridiculous drug intervention?"

"If it smells like a duck."

"Dean, I'm not drinking the demon blood for kicks. I'm getting strong enough to kill Lilith."

"Strong?"

"Yeah."

"This is about as far away from strong as you can get. Try weak. Try desperate. Pathetic." Christina knew the words weren't for her, but they hit her just the same.

"Killing Lilith is what matters. Or are you so busy being self-righteous you forgot about her?"

"Oh, Lilith's gonna die. Bobby, CJ and I will kill her. But not with you."

"You're not serious."

"Congrats, Sammy. You just bought yourself a benchwarmer seat to the apocalypse."

"Dean, look, no, wait..."

Dean shut the window cover and walked toward the stairs. He stepped around Christina and kept walking until he was halfway up. "You comin'?" He asked.

She shook her head as Sam started screaming. "I'm gonna... I've been here, you know. I dried out in that same room. I'm gonna stay." Dean nodded and kept walking.

"Come back here. Dean! Let me out of here! Dean! Let me out of here! Let me out! Dean!" Sam screamed. Christina grabbed a step stool and pulled it over to the door. As soon as she opened the window, Sam was in front of it. "Christina! You have to let me out of here."

She shook her head. "I don't. I can't. You know I can't." She looked into his eyes. They were hazel today. "You look like shit."

"I'm locked in a damn iron room, with my brother treating me like a damn junkie! Am I supposed to look good?"

"You are, Sam, a junkie. So am I. I know all about this."

"You don't-"

"Sam, it started out because it was an asset, right? It was the way Ruby could help you activate those powers Azazel gave you. And you really enjoyed pulling those demons out of people instead of just ganking them." Sam turned away from her. "You thought that's where the high was coming from, at first, but then you went a while without seeing her. Dean came back, the angels showed up, finding time to be with her got harder. That's when you started craving it. Just like a drug."

"I need this, okay? There's no way I beat Lilith without it."

"Right. Fortunately, that's not something that needs to be worried about while you're in here."

"You should be helping me. You should be helping you. We need to use every asset we have available to us. You and I are assets. Your magic, my powers... We could end this!"

She sighed. "Sam... I care very little about going against Lilith again. I hate her, I want her dead, but I'll tell ya... Not really wanting to get my lungs ripped out again. Sometimes, nuclear disarmament is good."

"Everyone will die if I don't do this."

"Then, we die." She said, before shutting the window and walking up the stairs.

*****************

Christina walked out into the salvage yard and leaned against a car as Dean called to Castiel. He paced back and forth, before turning to his right.

"Well, it's about time. I've been screaming myself hoarse out here for about two and a half hours now."  
  
"What do you want?" Castiel asked, tersely. Christina closed her eyes. The sound of his voice, so cold and detached, it hurt.  
  
"You can start with what the hell happened in Illinois."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Cut the crap. You were gonna tell me something." Dean said as Castiel walked into Christina's sight line.  
  
"Well, nothing of import."  
  
"You got ass-reamed in heaven but it was not 'of import'?"  
  
"Dean, I can't. I'm sorry." He seemed to actually mean that. He walked off toward Christina, but his eyes avoided her. "Get to the reason you really called me. It's about Sam, right?"  
  
"Can he do it? Kill Lilith, stop the apocalypse?"  
  
"Possibly, yes." Castiel turned his back to her. "But as you know, he'd have to take certain steps."  
  
"Crank up the hell-blood regimen."  
  
"Consuming the amount of blood it would take to kill Lilith would change your brother forever. Most likely, he would become the next creature that you would feel compelled to kill. There's no reason this would have to come to pass, Dean. We believe it's you, Dean, not your brother. The only question for us is whether you're willing to accept it. Stand up and accept your role. You are the one who will stop it.  
  
"If I do this, Sammy doesn't have to?"  
  
"If it gives you comfort to see it that way."  
  
Dean scoffed. "God, you're a dick these days." He walked a few steps away from the angel. "Fine, I'm in."  
  
"You give yourself over wholly to the service of God and his angels?" Castiel questioned.  
  
"Yeah, exactly."  
  
"Say it."  
  
Dean turned to the angel. Christina could see conflict in Castiel's face, but Dean glossed over it. "I give myself over wholly to serve God and you guys."  
  
"You swear to follow __H__ _i_ _ _s__ will and his word as swiftly and obediently as you did your own father's?"  
  
"Yes, I swear. Now what?"

"Now you wait, and we call on you when it's time." Castiel answered. The two stared at each other for a while, before Dean stomped off toward the house.

Castiel didn't move, didn't turn to her, so she pushed away from the car and stepped toward him, but not too close. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Why?" His voice was cold again.

"Zachariah... he, he hurt you... because you were willful. And the last straw was... was..."

"You. You were the last straw. I am not supposed to even be speaking to you."

"Cas...I wish..."

"What you wish isn't important."

Tears burned Christina's eyes. "Please, talk to me. I know you got sent back. I know Zachariah didn't get what he wanted from the experiment. And after that, he said he had to reprogram you."

"I can't tell you, Christina. And I can't absolve your guilt on it."

"Babe, please-"

"Don't call me that." He said, before disappearing.

The tears rolled down her cheeks. "Fine. That's just fine." She sniffled and walked over to the junk car. She jumped up onto the hood and leaned back to look at the stars. She closed her eyes and fell asleep. When she woke up, it was to the sound of a shotgun cocking out near the font of the house. She slid off the car and silently moved toward the sound of Bobby's voice.

"Uh-uh, Sam. The only place you're going is back inside with me." There was silence for moment.  
  
"No."  
  
"Damn it, boy."  
  
"You won't shoot me, Bobby." Sam was right, of course, and Bobby's wavering voice proved it.  
  
"Don't test me."  
  
"You won't do it. You can't do it."  
  
"We're trying to help you, Sam."  
  
Christina watched from the shadows as Sam grabbed the shotgun and placed the barrel against his chest. "Then shoot." He ordered. A long, tense moment dragged between the men, before Sam yanked the shotgun from Bobby's hands and bashed him in the face with it. He looked disgusted with himself as he threw the gun next to Bobby's unconscious body and turned back around to hotwire the car. As soon as it started, he slammed the door and pulled out.   
  
Sam looked in the passenger seat as he drove off, then stomped on the brakes. "How did you-"

"Just drive, Sam."

"What?"

"Drive, you idiot. We gotta put as much time between us and them as possible."

"No, you..."

Christina put her hand out and the accelerator pushed down, causing the engine to rev loudly. "If you don't get your foot off the brake, the noise is gonna wake the neighborhood. You don't want that, do you?"

Sam obeyed, pulling his foot off the brake and resuming the drive down the county road. Christina pulled her hand back into her lap. "What, what are you..." Sam started.

"You don't know how difficult it was for me to stand down there, telling you all the things I was _supposed_ to tell you, pretending like I didn't agree with you, like it was such a horrible thing to derive a little buzz from a bit of power... when I was still buzzing from the invocation to Athena I did earlier." Sam shot a few nervous looks at her. "We are more than assets, Sam. No one would call a nuke an asset. We're powerhouses and we've been too afraid to do what needs doing. Might be called 'wicked' by the one person whose opinion matters to us. But... I think ganking that bitch is the least wicked thing we could do."

He let out a shaky sigh and she could see a tear roll down his cheek. "I'm so glad you're on my side. I... Thank you for letting me out."

"That wasn't me, sweetheart. But whoever did it, they've got the big picture. So, where are we heading?"

"Couple towns over, grab another car. Then, a, a hotel. A nice one."

"Complete opposite of the norm. Gotcha. Well, drive. I give it another 10 minutes, at most before that hard-headed hunter we love wakes up and sets your brother on a collision course."

**************

Sam definitely looked like a junkie as he pulled into the hotel. He was shaking, taping his fingers against the steering wheel, obviously agitated. "Hey. You can't go in there like this." Christina reached over and turned his face towards hers. She leaned forward, face close enough to kiss him, and breathed a cool breath into his mouth. He coughed as she pulled away to examine him.

"What was that?"

"Power. It's not exactly the drug your craving, Sammy, but... It'll hold you off till the demon gets here."

He looked over at her, his pupils constricting. "Wow. That's..."

"Just get inside and pay for the room, Dylan Sheppard." She said, handing him the credit card she'd picked out of the pocket of a businessman in Jamestown while Sam stole the Escalade they had left in a ditch several miles back. He nodded and climbed out of the second truck they'd stolen.

She followed a few steps behind. When Sam asked for the honeymoon suite, the receptionist smiled at them, then looked down at Christina's hand. "No ring?"

"We eloped. Ring when we get to New York." She covered, with a smile. The clerk blinked and shook her head, before turning back to the screen.

"Okay. Just need your ID, Mr. Sheppard." Christina held up a business card from the wallet, and the clerk smiled. "Okay, then. Congratulations. Try to keep the noise down, you crazy kids."

As soon as they made it into the room, Sam dropped his weight onto the couch there. He was shaking again. He looked over to Christina, standing next to the geometric partition. "Can I have more? Just, just a little."

"You had plenty, sweetheart. Your real fix will be here soon. Besides, you don't want your girlfriend showing up and finding another woman breathing her poison into you."

"Ruby isn't..."

"No, you just fuck her and drink her blood. That's not a girlfriend."

Sam looked down, wringing his hands and bouncing his leg. He stood, looking like he was about to begin pacing when a knock came to the door. He rushed to it, not looking through the prep hole before opening it to reveal the brunette demon.

"Honeymoon suite, really? I'm flattered. Who's this?" She asked, walking in.

Sam shut the door behind her. "A friend. She's down with this. Did you bust me out of that room?"  
  
"How could I, Sam? The whole thing's engineered to bite me in the ass." Ruby said, dropping her bag to the ground and taking off her thin jacket.  
  
"Then how did I get out of there?"  
  
"I don't know." She said, pulling her bag back onto her shoulder. "I don't wanna know. You're out. That's all that matters. I'm glad you're here."  
  
"Yeah? Where the hell have _you_ been?"  
  
"I got here as quick as I could." She defended.  
  
"I mean the past three weeks. I've been calling you."  
  
Ruby stepped away from him, stepping up to the platform where the bed sat. "I've been pretty deep in it trying to dig out Lilith. Sometimes I can't sit around and check my voicemail." She dropped her bag to the floor with a thud. "I'm sorry you're hurting. Really. I had no idea that Dean would do that to you.  
  
"You and me both." Sam whispered.  
  
"You didn't book this joint just to impress me, did you?"

"Dean's gonna come after him." Christina piped up.

"And he knows my habits, my aliases, everything. He knows exactly which motel I'd pick." Sam stepped up to where Ruby stood.  
  
"Hence the room." Ruby finished.  
  
"Whatever it takes to shake him."  
  
"It won't be easy. I mean, he knows you better than anyone."

"Not as well as he thinks. He wouldn't expect me to be here... with you and, and Christina."

"Yeah, who is she, again?" Ruby asked, turning her attention to the witch.

"Christina Jean Harris. Hellenistic neopagan, hunter and former resident of Hell. Down for any mission that ends with Lilith dying."

"Did you let him out?"

"No. I was... considering it, but... someone beat me to the punch."

"She's risking Dean's wrath just by being with me."  
  
"You know, it's sad."  Ruby said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"That things have gotten this bad between you two." Ruby reached a hand out to stroke a piece of his hair.

Christina flinched as Sam grabbed Ruby and slammed her to the bed. "You two, enjoy. I'm gonna go get a drink." She said, making quick time to the door.

She pulled out her phone as she walked toward the elevator. Dean had called three times, Bobby had called five. She shook her head, putting her cell back into her pocket.

She waited for an hour, then knocked on the door to the honeymoon suite. "You done?"

"Uh, yeah. Come in!" Sam called.

Christina pulled her key and walked into the room. Sam was buttoning his jeans. "Well, you look much better, Sammy. Better by leaps and bounds."

"You let her call you 'Sammy'?" Ruby asked, pulling her hair out of her tank top with a sweep of her hand.

"I, uh, I've known her since high school. She gets to."

"I've known you a while Sam, I've never heard you mention her."

"Well, is that an issue? Are you supposed to know everyone in his life? Didn't take you for the clingy type, Ruby." Christina said, leaning against the wall next to the bathroom.

"I'm not... Seriously, Sam, who is this bitch?"

"I'm the witch who made sure he got this far without freaking out because someone got him hooked on blood and then disappeared for 3 damn weeks."

"I was busy. It's difficult enough to deal with all this. Other demons have it out for me. I can't always just show up whenever I'm called."

"Please. You knew he was going to need it, and you distanced yourself on purpose."

"Why would I do that?"

"To make him crave it. To prove to him and to you that he needs you. It was a power trip."

"Christina! Stop. This isn't... We have a plan, okay, and if we can put down Lilith now, we can stop Lucifer's rise. We have to work together, though, so stop attacking Ruby."

Christina turned to him. "If I was attacking, she'd be bleeding."

Sam gave her a look, but she just shook her head, so he turned to finish dressing. "So our demon gourmet nurse. You sure?"

"She'll be there. Graveyard shift tomorrow night." Ruby responded from her place on the couch, playing with a knife. "Meantime, if you're gonna be strong enough to kill Lilith, you're gonna need more than I can give you now."

Sam stopped in front of her and sighed.

"Sam. Come on. It's okay." She stood, offering the knife to him.

"I know I need more. I get it. I know it's okay. I just, I wish he'd trusted me, you know?"

"Sorry."

"I just hope...you know, when all this is over...I hope we can fix things."

Christina rolled her eyes. She knew it would take a lot to fix things with Dean after this, for her and for Sam. "Sam, can I talk to you, alone?" Sam turned to her, before nodding. "Bathroom?"

Sam followed her in and shut the door behind him. She leaned against the sink. "You have to know it won't be that easy. We won't be able to just fix this. You're addicted to demon blood, I'm using magic again. You knocked Bobby out and fled. I'm helping you evade. Dean isn't going to forgive just because we actually gank the bitch. You have to look at this realistically. Know that things will never be the same with him."

"You either. You think Dean is gonna forgive you? You're giving up any chance you might have at a relationship with him."

"I told you, that ship sailed back in high school. I am realistic about this, sweetheart. And I need you to be realistic, too. Even if this goes our way... things will be different forever."

Sam looked down. "I know, but... We have to try."

She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his chest. "It'll be okay, Sammy."

****************************

"Let's go get something to eat, Sammy. I'm sure the demon won't mind holding down the fort."

"What, the witch can't just conjure up some food?"

"Guys..." Sam scolded lightly, grabbing his jacket and walking to the door. Christina followed as Sam walked out of the hotel room door and toward the stairs.

As she was walking down the stairs, she looked out a window with a mesh grid. "Shit! Sam." She said, pointing at the black Impala sitting in the parking lot. Sam's eyes widened and he ran up the staircase 3 at a time. She followed behind, her short legs rushing to keep up but still falling behind. She walked in on a standoff between Ruby and Sam against Dean.

"Well, solid try, but here I am." Dean finished as she walked up.

"Dean, I'm glad you're here. Look. Let's just talk about this." Sam said, softly.

"Soon as she's dead, we can talk all you want." Dean growled.

"Ruby, get out of here." Sam ordered.

"No, she's not going anywhere." Dean said, moving forward to stop her. Christina wrenched the door open for her and watched her run. Dean looked hurt by the entire event. "She's poison, Sam."

"It's not what you think, Dean."

"Look what she did to you. I mean, she up and vanishes weeks at a time, leaves you cracking out for another hit..."

"She was looking for Lilith." Sam argued.

"That is French for manipulating your ass ten ways from Sunday."

"You're wrong, Dean."

"He's not." Christina muttered.

"I don't need your help, Christina." Dean growled. "Sam, you're lying to yourself. I just _want_ you to be okay. You would do the same for me. You know you would."

"Just listen." Sam said, looking down at the knife in his hand and tossing it on the bed. "Just listen for a second. We got a lead on a demon close to Lilith. Come with us, Dean. We'll do this together."

"That sounds great." Sam looked relieved until Dean continued. "As long as it's you and me. No CJ, and the demon bitch is a dealbreaker. You kiss her goodbye, we can go right now."

"I can't." Dean turned away, nodding in sad understanding. "Dean, I need her to help me kill Lilith. I know you can't wrap your head around it, but maybe one day you'll understand. I'm the only one who can do this, Dean."

Dean turned back around, shaking his head. "No, you're not the one who's gonna do this."

"Right, that's right, I forgot. The angels think it's you."

"You don't think I can?"

"No. You can't. You're not strong enough."

"And who the hell are you?"

"I'm being practical here. We're doing what needs to be done."

"Yeah? You're not gonna do a single damn thing."

"Stop bossing me around, Dean. Look. My whole life, you take the wheel, you call the shots, and I trust you because you are my brother. Now I'm asking you, for once, trust _me_."

"No. You don't know what you're doing, Sam."

"Yes, I do."

"Then that's worse."

"Why? Look, I'm telling you—"

"Because it's not something that you're doing, it's what you are! It means—"

"What? No. Say it." Christina could see the tears in Sam's eyes from across the room.

"It means you're a monster."

Sam nodded. He'd known that was coming. Christina stepped forward, but froze as Sam's first drove into Dean's face. Dean hit the floor like a ton of bricks, but he stood up, squaring his jaw. The rage within him was visible before bringing his right fist across to his brother's face, followed by his left and then a right to his gut.

Christina was sure that this fight was years of unresolved sibling issues, she was certain that if she stepped into it, she'd get her ass handed to her. It wasn't long before Sam got the upper hand, putting Dean into a mirror, then through the geometric partition Christina had been leading on hours before, and into the glass coffee table, which shattered.

Christina didn't step forward until Sam dropped himself onto a coughing and groaning Dean and wrapped his hands around his throat. She pulled on his jacket. "Sam, stop."

"You don't know me." Sam said, panting. "You never did. And you never will." Sam started to walk out as Christina leaned down next to Dean.

"You walk out that door, don't you _ever_ come back." Dean groaned out.

Sam stopped at the door. "You coming, Christina?"

Christina looked from Dean's beaten face to Sam and shook her head. "I can't..."

Sam blew a sharp puff of air from his nostrils. "Weak." He said, before walking out the door.

She reached out to help Dean up, but he pulled away. "What were you doing with him?"

"He was fleeing. I convinced him that I was sympathetic, that I was on his side. He let me come. I was gonna call you once we got to the demon Ruby was telling us about."

"You opened the door for her!"

"You weren't going to take her, Dean. Sam and Ruby would never have let you..."

"I could've done it with your support."

"Then, we'd both be covered in bruises and feeling like shit. And Ruby would be no more dead than she already is."

"Did you let him out?" Dean growled, finally making it to his feet.

"You know I didn't. I never made it back inside after you promised your ass to Castiel again." Christina turned away, hoping Dean wouldn't notice the last word.

"You know, you could've called. You could've told me where you were."

"I knew you'd catch up, Dean. I knew that if he was thinking opposite, you'd think opposite. You're smarter than you act and I know that, remember?"

"You should have stopped him."

"Bobby and a shotgun couldn't stop him. He's got 120 pounds and a foot of height on me, Dean. How, exactly, did you want me to stop him? With my magic that you are vehemently opposed to?"

Dean's jaw locked and he sighed. "Do you know where they're going?"

She shook her head. "I wasn't here for that. I showed back up after the 'where'. Sorry."

"You left?"

"I didn't want to be in the room while they... you know."

Dean groaned. "So, we've lost. Sammy's gone and we're fucked."

"Come on, take me home."

*****************

They were halfway through Bristol, South Dakota when Dean pulled off the road and slammed the car into park. He didn't say a word as he turned to her, grabbing her head and pulling her into a rough kiss. He didn't pull away until they both needed to breath.

"Look, I know the timing might be suspect, but... I'm sad, I'm hurt, I feel betrayed in _every_ way, and if there was ever a time that I needed to blow off some steam, now's that time." When he was faced with silence, he sighed. "Don't make me ask."

Christina nodded and reached over to unzip his jeans. Dean popped the button and shimmied his jeans down to his knees. She put his cock in her mouth and swirled her tongue around him, working to get him hard. He leaned back, trying to give her more room. It didn't take long for him to fill her mouth up and then she bobbed her head, hollowing her cheeks and tightening her lips. He grabbed the back of her head with both hands and pushed her down further, choking her as he started to fuck up into her mouth.

She didn't panic, one hand going to his knee and the other grasping at his jacket to steady herself. She took quick breaths every time he gave her a split second chance and soon, he was spilling into her throat. She coughed as he let her sit up and swallowed the cum that escaped her esophagus, then she stared at him, hoping for something, but not knowing exactly what. Whatever it was, he didn't give it to her as he pulled up his boxers and pants and pulled the car back onto the road without a word.

An hour and a half of silence later, they pulled into the salvage yard. Christina pulled her keys out of her pocket and walked over to her Harley. "Where do you think you're going?" Dean called to her back.

"Home. I'm going home."

"Like Hell, you are! We've gotta find-"

"Bite me, Winchester. You need me, Bobby knows where I live. I'm gonna go drink away the taste of my face being hate-fucked." She said, turning over the engine and riding out of the yard without looking at him.

************************

Christina was sleeping off two bottles of whiskey when Castiel appeared in her bedroom. She stirred and sat up, not wanting to look at him. "What can I do for you, Castiel?" She asked.

"I thought you should know... Lucifer has risen."

She nodded, bitterly. How could she have hoped for good news? "How'd that happen?"

"Lilith was the final seal. Sam killed her. Lucifer walks the Earth."

"Of course. Ruby... she was-"

"Manipulating him, yes."

"How did Heaven not know all this beforehand?" The silence caused Christina to turn to him. "They did know, didn't they?"

"The archangels didn't want to stop it. Christina... I've rebelled. Officially, I have turned my back on Heaven. I was killed for it."

"What?! They killed you?" She asked, jumping up and stepping to him.

"I was brought back. I believe the entity responsible is... our Father."

"God brought you back? That's amazing."

"Yes. Heaven is still hunting me, but this... It... vindicates me."

"Right. You're on the right track if God gives a damn about you." She seemed to think over what he said for a moment before saying, "You should leave. Heaven knows about me. If they're hunting you, they'll look here."

Castiel smiled slightly, before turning. "You are right, but... I also feel you should know that... Bobby Singer is in the hospital."

"What?! What happened?"

"He became possessed by a demon who was going to hurt Dean. He was able to wrest control back, but he had to stab himself in order to stop the demon."

"Is he gonna be okay?"

"I don't believe he will walk again, but he will live."

Tears stung her eyes and she nodded. "Do you know where?"

"Columbus, Ohio." He said, before disappearing.

**************

Christina had driven the Charger, doing 100 mph until she got to the Columbus city limits. St. Martin's hospital was the only place with a stabbing victim matching Bobby so she pulled into the parking lot and ran inside. Dean was the first familiar face she saw, standing outside Bobby's room.

"Siege, how'd you know?"

"Not 'cause I got a call or anything. Were you just gonna let me walk up to Bobby's and see the nice new ramps, find out that way?"

"We've had other things on our minds. Sorry."

"Right. Like Sam letting the devil out to play. Bigger fish. I understand."

Dean gave her a look and pushed off from the wall. "Look, about the other night-" he started.

"I'm using magic again." She blurted out.

"What?"

"Lucifer is on the game board. You have to have someone who can go nuclear if needed. I'm not going to abuse it. Notice, the scars are uncovered. But, this is not a fight that can be done analog."

"Yeah? Sammy thought that about Lilith. Look where we are now."

"Come on. We all wanted to kill Lilith."

"And if you or I had done it, I'm pretty sure that seal wouldn't have broken." Dean stepped forward, towering over her. "It was the way he did it, using those demonic powers of his, and now that Sam has screwed everything up with his, you decide it's a good time to go get yours back?"

"My powers are not demonic. They are hard-earned _years_ of my life."

"You ever put down a lesser deity, CJ? 'Cause I have. Sam and I have put down a handful of 'em. And you know how they come across? Monsters, just like everything else we hunt."

Christina stood her ground, looking up at him. "Everything that isn't completely human is a monster, right? Look at it this way, how much shit do you think comes through Sioux Falls? Follows you, knows about Bobby? Bad things. How you gonna keep Bobby safe while you're off galavanting?"

"Bobby doesn't need-"

"He isn't gonna walk again. And yeah, Bobby in a wheelchair is 10x more badass then your normal redneck, but... He's half as capable as your normal Bobby." She grasped his hand and looked up into his eyes. "I promise this won't be a problem. Magic as a tool, not a drug."

"Yeah? That's what Sammy said about the demon blood."

"Yeah but Sam was never honest about it, was he? Not until he got caught."

Dean gave a resigned sigh, then turned to open the door to Bobby's room. Christina reached up and plucked several hairs from his neckline. "Ow! What was that for?" He asked, turning back to her.

"Well, you know us witches. Doing skeevy things with hair and fluids."

"Gimme back my hair."

"No." Dean reached out to grab her hand, but she grabbed his wrist with her other hand. A burning sensation tore through his arm and when he pulled back there was a circular symbol on his wrist. "Don't worry. It'll fade. You won't even see it in an hour."

"What the hell is it?"

"It's a... tether. That's a good word. You disappear, I metaphorically follow the rope back to you. That way, angels get their hands on you, demons get their hands on you, I can find you."

"Oh, that's just what I need, my crazy witch of an ex girlfriend being able to find me any time she wants."

"Not crazy, Winchester, and after what you pulled the other night, I don't think I was ever your girlfriend. Just a receptical for your frustrations and your cum." She said, before pushing past him into Bobby's room, where Sam was standing.

"Hey, Christina."

"Hey, Sammy. How you doing, sweetheart?"

"Started the end of the world. Pretty good considering."

"We'll get through this. How you doing old man?" She turned to Bobby, sitting in the chair next to his bed.

"I've been better."

"Where's your anti-possession, Bobby? What happened to your protection against this kinda thing?"

"I took the necklace off for one damn minute to clean it. It's like they were waitin' for it."

She sighed. "I'm using magic, again, Bobby. You better believe I'm gonna hit the books, find anything and everything I can to try to get you better."

Bobby sighed. "I hope I ain't the reason you picked the pentacle back up, Tina."

"No, sir. Just thought if you were to benefit, you might not come down on me so hard about it."

"Not likely."

She smiled. "When they gonna let you out of here? When can I load you up in the back of my Charger and cart you home?"

"They need time for 'more tests'. My legs won't move. Think that's enough test."

"All right. Well, I'm gonna go get a motel. Don't go anywhere."

"Glad to see yer sense of humor ain't improved just cause you're juicing again."

She smirked, before leaning down to kiss Bobby's cheek and walking out of the hospital room.


End file.
